Have you met Satan?

Peacefulness. When ever I am truly at peace (if there ever is such a time) my mind is on a constant loop of Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, Romantic Period piano music, and many other strange tunes that a girl my age probably shouldn't know my societal norms. I feel a cool breeze; yet, that breeze has a soft warm touch that kisses my face and legs. Nothing is better than sitting outside, in a state of contentment; with a cup of tea at your side. Nothing. Even now, as I listen to my good buddy Frank, I feel this feeling of contentment.

Sighhhhhh..... Oh hang on, let me remove the ferocious beast that is currently trying to suck my life out through my ankle bones.

You would never suspect this face to be the spawn of Satan...
the Napoleon Bonaparte of Cats would you?

It is when I'm peaceful that my cat attacks. Oh Satan....I mean Dewey....when will you ever let me be?!

I don't know how many of you have had the privilege, yes it is a privilege, to meet Dewey ( I mean Satan); I'm not sure if you have if that is a good thing or if you should count yourself lucky if you haven't. You see....now how do I put this in the nicest, most polite way possible....Dewey is a little...poo poo head (I have decided to censor myself, because trust me, there are better adjectives out there to describe this special animal).

Satan is a confused animal. There is no way around it, he's actually very dumb. He does this thing with his head where it looks like he's trying to be another member of the Village People and learn the YMCA. I don't understand him. If Edward Cullen was a cat, he would be Satan Dewey. Let me explain. You see, even as I type this, he is standing in the corner looking down at his paws; trying to be soulful and brooding all at once. He believes this is his best pose. I think it's not. Dewey is like a french Edward Cullen. He's black and white (good and evil), but the evil side is represented in a larger quantity. I can't help but be the helpless (made even more helpless by Kristen Stewart's acting) Bella Swan around him-- I know he can destroy me, yet I still try to love him and have his love be returned. But he's cold and heartless. It's a sick, twisted, abusive relationship really.

Is that a bird? A plane??? no...it's just Dewey flying through the air to attack the Dog.

The Showdown between the small horse and Satan...

Dewey has no real fear. He's not afraid of me (which he demonstrates every day when he attacks-- I mean ATTACKS-- my toes and my thighs [I just choose to say he has a crush on me...someone's got to right?]) or the dog. Granted, our dog is probably the most feminine male dog you will ever lay eyes upon. I think Dewey is half squirrel...he flies through the air, leaps of furniture onto the back of the unsuspecting dog or human, with the greatest of ease.

Boxing match between the brother and Satan. Satan wins every time

The nerve of this animal. He is the rudest feline ever (that might be because he is part devil...) but this might be due in part to the fact that he is french. Did I not tell you? Dewey is French, my Dog is German...yes I've given my animals nationalities and I speak to them in their native tongues sometimes. Don't judge my awkward life. Anywho... Satan walks along the counters, looks in the eye of the nearest human, and pushes things off the counter. Rude right? Of the french...

Now that I've officially established myself in your mind as the crazy cat lady, I think I'll stop my awkward rant about my cat. But he is rude, and I needed to share with you my suffering.

My nametag Cup my mom got me