J'aime toutes les choses européenne

So I can't speak french, or Italian, or any other cool langauge other than American English...not even English English. I'm not cool at all (so yes, my title was googled thank you very much)...but I'm feeling very European today. I am aware (and so are those close to me) that I often strive for that level of European identity in my decorating styles, literature, and food (I drink more tea than what was dumped in the harbor here people), but today I'm feeling exceptionally European. I'm practically Audrey Hepburn here people, but with a more realistic waist. It could be my black turtleneck, my shiny flats, or my cuffed jeans...and the fact that it's only 3 o'clock and I've already had 5 cups of tea...I'm working on my 6th as I type. Of course, after this blog sesh I'm going to start reading some Percy Shelley for my English Literature since 1800s class...why am I not European?! It would make my faux European style so much more real. I think I have an obsession...that's the first step right? acceptance and admitting my illness? Do they have a group for people with an obsession of all things European, cause if they do...sign. me. up!

Moving back into the realm of things that are actually real in my life (let's face it...I need to accept the fact that I am an American and was born here), last night I had a lovely bonding experience with the girls in my wing at school. We went to get fro-yo and came back to the dorm to watch He's Just Not That Into You (which may or may not have done damage to my fragile little heart...I can't decide). Man, bonding with the girls in my wing has been so great this semester, we've done more things together these last couple of weeks than we did last semester. It's been a lovely experience. It's been nice bonding with girls, considering the majority of my friends are guys and let's face it...you can't gush over the attractive ASSets qualities of Ben Affleck with a bunch of guys.

So dear readers, what has been you obsession lately?



One of my favorite movies, takes place in Paris....is this a clue to my obsession?

 PS. I really have a problem, as I typed this, there was a slew of french music that came on my itunes.

Fogginess of Mind



Mr. Darcy...why can't he always stride through the early morning fog?



It's a gloomy morning on campus, the fog is plentiful this morning. This is the kind of thick fog that gives everything a romantic, Gothic feel. It always happens that when I see this fog, I always expect Mr. Darcy to come striding across the field towards me, but I know that will never happen (as much as this girl likes to dream it would). There is something in the calm of fog and weather like this that makes me want to curl into bed and just stare out my window and write in my journal. Not to sound like one of THOSE girls, you know the kind (the ones with the hair in their eyes, the sunken cheeks, and the black eye liner), but it's just fact: fog makes me feel calm and peaceful.



Of course I can't lay in bed because I'm behind on my reading...as usual. I should know that Byron and Elizabeth Bishop will not somehow implant their work into my head. That is impossible. I just need to get some of my delish tea and sit at my desk by my window and get to work...but of course I will continue to procrastinate, it's what I do best.

I've realized that I have forgotten to explain the title of my blog. How silly of me. So, as an English major and lover of all things English (I love the royals, the weather, and let's face it...Harry Potter) I am a great admirer of Willy Shakes (William Shakespeare for those that didn't get the reference). The title of my blog All the World's a Stage... is based off of one of my favorite lines from his play "As You Like It".  The lines that follow remind me that our life on this stage (earth) is short, and what we do with the characters we have been given is up to us. Ultimately in this life, we are given a handful of roles to act out in different stages of life, it's how we act out those roles in different stages that defines who we are. Just my thoughts. So, dear reader, if you've stayed with me this long, please read what Wills writes... what role do you want? Are you a lead actor in this world, or just a supporting actor?

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

Peace

So this is what it feels like. I woke up this morning with that thought circling around in my head, like a plane in it's final descent. As I lay there motionless and stared at the ceiling (which is literally a foot away from my face), I had a feeling of peace wash over me. I can't remember the last time that I felt completely secure in my place in this world. I think being back at Jessup, back to the place were God put me, has allowed me to feel that feeling of peace once again. Peace, that is a word that I can't help saying over and over again because it has been so long since it's graced my thoughts and been in the presence of my other random thoughts (the likes of Adam Scott and Michael Buble).

I'm at peace with the world right now, the world as it stands in this very moment. Well, maybe I'm not at peace with the whole world, I am certainly not at peace with genocide and certain political parties but that's another post. In the world right now, in my own little world, I am at peace with my status as a student. I recognize the fact that I am slowly moving towards my end goal and I will continue to strive to do well. I'm at peace with the fact that my homework load will not vanish; that one of my roommates will not take it upon themselves to do my homework for me; that I should just accept the fact that it needs to be done. I actually embrace the chance for me to learn, and I enjoy homework...is that a weird notion to come out of the mouth of a 20 year old?

I accept the fact that I'm as single as I ever have been, and recognize that that's not going to change any time soon and I'm OK with that. If you would have talked to me a few months ago, I guarantee you I would have gone on a rant about injustice in the universe, but now, as it stands, I am OK with it. I'm glad I'm single (much to the chagrin of my mother), and I'm thankful that I only have to focus on my own personal growth as a person and student. 

 I do look forward to the future, don't get me wrong, but right now I am at peace with the here and now for the first time in a long time. I am at peace with the way things stand in my own little universe right now.

So dear readers, I urge you to think of the many blessings in your own life. What are you at peace with right now?

back to the grind...

It's that time of year again. The time when all good college students (or the ones forced by their parents) make their way back to school. I'm not dreading the start of the semester, in fact, I open it with open arms. I know that with the start of this semester, it will come to an end and I will be that much closer to graduation. Oh no, the thing I dread this semester is having to write the incomprehensible amount of papers that will surely come my way. Why did I think that being a double major would be a good thing? Especially having two majors that require so much writing? Because I'm working on primarily major requirements now, I don't really have any frivolous general ed. stuff to fill my time...so now I actually have to use my brain. Don't get me wrong, I love English and History, but not nearly as much as a fat kid loves pie. I'm taking 18 units and I welcome the challenge! (Que evil maniacal laugh)

On another note, now that I've used this spot for my pathetic pity party, let me tell you about my wonderful Christmas break with my family (and since I'm a christian and go to a christian school, I WILL call it CHRISTMAS break). My activities over break really only consisted on one thing...I ate. I ate a lot. Never in  my life has a break been so consumed (ha no pun intended) with eating. I should correct myself, it was really only the beginning of the break that I ate so much. I made gingerbread, peppermint bark, sugar cookies, and then there was the inevitable holiday dinners. Now I'm not suggesting that I've gained any weight (because I haven't), and when you see me, don't you dare imply that I have, but I didn't really care what I was putting into my gut, like I usually do. I was eating all sorts of processed foods!

Over the break, my older brother Kyle came home for Christmas with his wife Jenny. Kyle is in the army and I don't get to see him nearly enough. This is the first time he's been with us for Christmas in several years, and really that was the best part of Christmas. I'm proud of my brother for all he has done in the Army and will continue to support him throughout life. Kyle has been to Korea and Iraq, and is stationed in Washington right now. Having him home for Christmas filled a void that was formed when he left for the army and could no longer be with us at all holiday and family functions. It's hard not always having him there, but I know he is doing so much bigger and better than us all. He is part of something that is bigger than the individual. In addition to him being home for Christmas, he was also home for his 22nd birthday! He hasn't had a birthday with the family in God knows how long.

This picture is of Kyle in Iraq

I love break, and I love time with my family. Family is something I will treasure for a lifetime.

oh the future....

Ladies and Gents, you should be delighted to know that I returned my running shoes and got new ones. It might not be monumental in your life, but it sure as heck is in mine. The new shoes come after a month or so of my complaining that I need new ones because my old ones were falling apart, I just never got around to getting them. As predicted, my mom did tell me it was my fault because I didn't try them on...it was a hilarious moment in my day yesterday.

While I was running this morning, I got to thinking about my future. I'm in my second year of college and the time is whizzing past me faster than Lindsey Lohan's rehab stint. What do I want to do? Where do I want to live? All these monumental questions that a college student inevitably asks themselves have started to rain down on me.

My ultimate goal is to be a book editor. I've loved books for my whole life it seems and I've known that I want to be involved with them for years now. As I'm edging closer and closer to that final descent in my college career, I've started to think about how I'm going to start a career in that industry. It's starting to cause me to have a minor panic attack, that which is probably equivalent to one that the captain of the titanic or the Hindenburg had. I've been thinking that I may want to become a high school English teacher or history teacher. However, that may be a problem because children/ teenagers and I are like oil and water...

If I could pick any career in the world, I would probably have to say that I would die to work at the Smithsonian in D.C. I LOVE history and would want to be a document specialist for them.

My love of history and the fact that I would love to be a curator worries my mother I think. When I told her I was considering getting my masters in Library Sciences, my mom expressed her concerns for my...marital future, while my dad sent me a youtube video (a scene from The Music Man, "Marianne the Librarian). This is the monumental difference between my parents, my mom worries and my dad jokes.

So dear readers, this post was a little less light hearted than some of my others, but something that has been laying heavily on my heart lately.

Take time today to think about your future. What will you do to obtain your dreams?

Morning

There is something about the morning hours that I actually enjoy. It may be the quite stillness that lingers in the house, or the fact that my cat is actually nice to me in the morning. If any of you have ever met Dewey, you would know that this is a miracle (he's nice because he's tired from a long night of mischief making). I love the expectation of the day that hangs in the air; the feeling that anything can be accomplished that day. In the morning, everything is new.

I woke up this morning with every intention of going on a run. Since I've been at home for break, I've been a bit lacking on my exercise routine. I went from working out every day to.....let's just say not working out everyday. I miss it. I love the feeling of my heart pumping my blood faster and faster. I love the feeling of actually being active and doing something good for my body. I woke up at 9am to go out for a run with my sweet new running shoes. After I put on my running gear, I walked downstairs to put said shoes on when...THEY WOULDN'T FIT! I was angry to say the least. In my head I was thinking : I woke up for nothing! I could have had another 30 mins. The thought crossed my mind to just run in converse but I decided that A) that would look stupid and B) that would hurt my feet.

I don't know what happened. Why don't my shoes fit? My mother would chime in with that's because you didn't try them on (which she undoubtedly will when she hears I have to go to the store to return them). I have two theories as to why they don't fit.

First theory: my socks are too thick

Second: The band aids on my big toe are making the shoe too tight. Ladies and Gents, don't ever try to have an epic battle with a pair of toenail clippers, the clippers will prevail. It looked like Gladiator 3D last night.

Or simply, my last theory: I suck.

Whatever the real reason as to why my running shoes won't fit, I'm majorly disappointed. I had high hopes for this morning. I was going to run, shower, read some Jane Austen, eat breakfast, and then blog. I'm still doing all those things, minus the running, but it's just not the same. So, in honor of the age old saying, "when life hands you lemons...", I'm going to do some pilates instead.

Time.

Time is a tricky thing. We either never seem to have enough of it, or that we have too much time on our hands. Recently I have encountered both sides of this lopsided coin. I went to my grandmother's house yesterday to help her and my grandfather take down their Christmas lights (let me tell you folks, this was no easy task. I have never seen so many lights on one house!) and I realized how much time has gone past. When we sat down for lunch, she was talking to me about how she used to watch me and my older brother when we were babies and then when we grew into toddlers. I can't believe that I am already 20 years old, when to her she still looks at me like I'm a baby (like my mother and father surely do too). This is one case when time seems to run short, like the sand in an hour glass that spills it's last grains.

As my Christmas break drags on, I come to those moments where I seem to have an infinite amount of time on my hands, but nothing to fill it with. I can only read so many books and articles people! I'm content though, I really don't mind having nothing to occupy my time because it means that I get to read more of the books I love. In school, I rarely get time to just read for fun! It's true that I'll get the occasional assignment to read Shakespeare of Austen, two of my favorite writers, but really, time for fun is limited with 18 units. Time on break always lasts forever it seems...I love it!

I do have mixed feelings about break though. While I love not having to think or stress about that 12 page paper that is due in the morning (that I obviously haven't started), I do miss school. I miss my friends, my professors, and the environment of Jessup. I want to be in school right now to keep working towards my ultimate goal of graduation. I've been in school so long it seems, my whole life practically, and I look forward to being released from it's grip and starting my career as a book publisher.

What do you look forward to?
xoxo

Cheers to old friends.

Yesterday and today I have had the pleasure of seeing three very dear friends of mine over coffee and tea. One of the things that really struck me when I saw them was how fast time flies. Two of my friends I hadn't seen since last Christmas break, and man...it was hard to wrap my brain around how long it had been. The good thing about old friends, I've discovered, is how easy it is to pick up the friendship right where it left off. Talking to old friends is like a security blanket because you just know that no matter what, when the new friends just don't quite jive in your life, the old friends will always be there. You know you've found some good friends with good hearts when you can go years without seeing them and it feels like only a few weeks has passed since you last met.

Just this afternoon I saw one of my best friends Josh and time with him is always one of the highlights of my day. That kid never ceases to amaze me. Between his wit, charm, and friendliness, I know that I would be a fool to let him leave my little life. He's a rare breed that kid, and I love him for it. Talking to him today between sips of my tea (why does Starbucks make their tea so dang hot? I need to find a better place...), I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. I remembered the first few days of our friendship and how strange it was to be friends with this guy, because I had never had any really close guy friends before. Josh grew on me of course, and to this day I consider him one of my best friends. I can't believe how far we have come, from high school to college. I look forward to what the future has in store for our friendship, and of course the friendships I share with others.

So dear readers, let's make a toast to old friends that are always there, and to those new friends!
xoxo

Happy New Year!

Last night I rang in the New Year with my family instead of friends (as most of my friends were off doing their own thing). I didn't mind spending time with my family in the least because I know that my time with them is limited. Let's face facts folks, I'm growing up. Sooner than we all realize, I'll be on my own with my own family. I treasure the time I have now as a family unit. Our number is dwindling of course as my older brother Kyle is in Washington with his wife. It seems like it was only last year when we were all together for New Years Eve... where does the time go?

Yesterday was an extremely hectic day, but also a great note to end 2010. We took down Christmas yesterday, or at least attempted to take it down. Really, the only thing that was accomplished was bringing the boxes that houses all the decorations into the front room of our house. We had good intentions, but like everything else in life, we got distracted from what we really should be doing.

I made a delicious dinner of new york steak (because I would never be allowed to cook solely vegetarian) with a basil, lemon, garlic sauce, red potatoes, stuffed tuscan mushrooms, antipasto salad, and raspberry sorbet ice cream sodas for desert. It was yum if I do say so myself. After dinner, we all sat down to watch a movie. I adored the time spent with my family, it's something I miss and crave for while I'm away at school.

Looking back on 2010, there is so much that I have been able to learn about myself and the world; there is so much that I am thankful for. I am so thankful for my family and friends; without them, I would not have that support system I lean on when the pressures of life threaten to whisk me away like a strong ocean tide. I am thankful for finally finding the university that I belong at. After a long and tiresome search, I have finally found my home at William Jessup University. I have never before felt such an awesome sense of community in a college; for that I am truly grateful. I am welcoming 2011 with open arms. I don't know what this new year will bring, but on this first day of January of the new year, I can't help but have a feeling of excitement and anticipation wash over me. I just know deep down in my gut that this year will be my year. I have a feeling that I will finally find love (at least my mother hopes so), that I will continue to excel in school and move one step closer to graduation, and that I will finally, finally be able to learn a little more about myself and my place in this crazy world. All I have to say to 2011 is...bring.it.on!
xoxo

PS. Don't you lost love that picture of Dewey? He looks like he's Godzilla is a christmas village.