once upon a time, a strange naked boy came knocking...almost....

Have I ever shared with you the story of my encounter with the autistic child that ran into my house one afternoon? No??? Well, would you like to laugh today (I would hope the answer is yes or you may need to go to a psychologist... hang on, I think I have a card somewhere in my wallet....)?? 

So there I was, sitting in the most comfortable chair in the house, watching tv with my little brother. My dad had just announced that he was going to take a nap (a regular afternoon occurrence in my house...give him a break, he's an old firefighter). As I was just about the hit that perfect moment when you're watching tv and your body just gels into the furniture the front door creaks open.

"mom?"- Me (she was supposed to be at work, but I thought that maybe she was coming home for lunch)

Nothing, there was no answer but the door swung open wider and next thing I know, a little child's head pops into the door.

My reaction you ask?

"ummmm....hello?? Can I help you?" clearly I don't know how to talk to children, I just treat them like strange adults.

At that point, the child took my questioning as a signal to run completely into the front room of my house. 

My thought process you ask again? Let me tell you...

Ok, who is this child that ran into my house? Is he on fire? No... Bleeding? Nooo... Why is his mouth dark blue? Oh wait..... he is butt naked!! 

That's right folks, this child that ran into my house was as naked as a jay bird! This 10 year old boy who I had never seen before was bearing more than I ever cared to see from a stranger. At this point, since he clearly was more interested in running around my front room than listening to me, I took my cat and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I was only looking out for the safety of my cat, I didn't want her to escape after all. Nooooo, get that idea out of your head. I didn't lock myself in the bathroom because children scare me, especially naked children, where did you get this idea?

Keep in mind, at this point in the story my dad is sleeping in his bedroom. As my dad tells it, the child ran into his bedroom and started banging on his tv. Awaken by the sounds of tiny fists banging on a hard surface, my poor father wakes up in a confused state only to find a naked child in his room. A foreign nude child. What does one make of this situation in a haze of sleepiness? I'll tell you what one makes of this...they chase after it  (the child is the it, if you didn't take notice).

So there's my dad, running after a nude child. 

Rewind.... I feel there is something you must know about my father... I probably shouldn't tell you, but for the sake of artistic accuracy, I feel I must.... he sleeps in his underwear sometimes, and this was one of those times. (I feel like I should tell you that I feel slightly awkward writing that out as he is sitting right next to me at the table while I type this....sorry pops!)

Anywho, back to the story. So my dad is chasing this small, nude child around the room when it dawns on him: (I'll take artistic liberty here as I can't remember the exact wording of his thoughts) "I'm in my underwear, chasing around a small, naked child that I don't know...this doesn't look good. Where are my pants?!"

So after he puts pants on, and finally is able to wrangle up the strange child, he takes him outside where the neighbor of this child is looking for him. He apparently lived a street down and she saw him roaming the streets...naked as a jay bird. 

What really gets me is that I have to wonder what my little brother was doing this whole time? I feel like, and I speak from experience as his older sister, that he was still sitting on the couch throughout this whole ordeal, mesmerized by the television. 

So there my lovelies is another glimpse into my awkward life. I feel as though I could honestly write a book about all the strange and bizarre things that have happened to me.